Alleviation
by July Storms
Summary: Hange didn't move, but he wasn't surprised. The way she was lying there could only mean one thing. "Bleeding like a stuck pig?" he asked. (Levihan.)


**Alleviation**

**Prompt**: "Levi comforts Hange because she has cramps." (Requested by Anonymous.)

**Notes**: Some people get happy periods and the rest of us experience a crimson tsunami of destruction and terror.

* * *

Hange was in the last place Levi checked: her room.

When he opened the door and turned to look around, he saw that she was twisted up in her sheets in a position that seemed uncomfortable, face buried in the middle of her flat pillow.

"Hey, shitty-glasses, you missed the fucking meeting."

Hange didn't move, but he wasn't surprised. The way she was lying there could only mean one thing.

"Bleeding like a stuck pig?"

She ignored that, too, but he saw her foot shift just the smallest bit.

"I know you're awake, Hange. Stop faking sleep like a kid."

Finally, her voice floated up to him. "Erwin and his meeting can kiss my ass."

"He'll be delighted to know that at last you've granted him permission," he said, dryly. "You're not even dressed. The hell are you doing?"

"I'm dying, Levi. Dying."

"Don't be stupid."

Hange groaned and pulled her sheet over her head.

He pulled it back down; she didn't bother resisting. "It's too hot for that. Stop complaining."

She swatted him away. "It's making up for lost time. All those months it ignored me…and now it's back with a vengeance."

"That's impossible."

"But it's happening."

"Do you even hear yourself?"

"Perfectly."

"Six months ago you broke your leg and wouldn't sit still and let it rest, and now you're complaining about this?"

She finally turned over and regarded him with a face that looked altogether too pouty. "But it _hurts_."

He pinched her lips between his thumb and index finger. "Get up."

"Mmph," she said, and Levi wasn't sure what it meant. Maybe it was a yes, maybe it was a no, or maybe it was something else entirely.

He let go of her mouth and put one hand on her tousled hair. "This is good news."

"Let me see you deal with it and then I'll ask your opinion."

"You're grumpy."

"I'm in _pain_."

"So get up and get to work. Exercise is supposed to make it feel better."

"That's a crap theory. It has yet to be proven."

"You could prove it today."

"Who taught you to be encouraging? You suck."

"A serial killer."

She groaned again and rubbed her hands over her face. "Fine, I'll get up. But if I die, it's going to be on you. 'How did Squad Leader Hange die?' 'It was Levi's fault; he kicked her out of bed this morning—didn't even offer a word of comfort to a dying woman.'"

"It'll be fine. You won't die. It means you're not pregnant. That should be comforting."

"It still hurts."

"I had to sit through a meeting this morning. Nile Dawk was there. He spoke for two hours straight. That was also painful."

"You missed me, didn't you?" she said, and wriggled a little on her back. "I'm in _physical_ pain. It's different."

"And I had to listen to Dawk squawk for two hours. Mental anguish." He sat on the edge of her bed.

"I guess you get a pass just this once," Hange said, and smiled at him, though it disappeared into a more neutral expression after a moment, and she pushed both hands against her stomach. "Why don't you kiss it and make it better?"

"I'm not doing that experiment with you again. It doesn't work."

"But it's _nice_," she defended, curling herself, still twisted in her sheets, around him.

"Do you know what else is nice? Getting your goddamned work done."

"Five minutes."

"I'm not kissing your stomach."

"Why not?" She aimed what was probably her best 'sad face' up at him.

He didn't buy it. Not for a second. He pressed his lips together and let a sigh out through his nose before he answered her. "I know how it'll end, four-eyes."

"How's that?" She rubbed her face against the side of his leg.

"If I follow your ridiculous instructions, and the next thing I know you'll start complaining about how horny you are. I don't feel like dealing with the mess right now."

"Nobody's in the baths this time of day," she suggested, half-hiding her grin against his leg.

"No," he said, though the idea sounded more appealing than he would ever let on.

"My stomach hurts."

"You're whiny today. What do you want me to do about it?"

"I want you to rub it for me. And I want a hug."

"I have work to do."

"Chunks of blood are oozing out of my body at an alarming rate, Levi. Five minutes?"

"Gross."

"It's natural," she said. "It's not like I can help it. Besides, didn't you say it was good news?"

"Yeah, I can't deal with two babies whining all day long." But he did shift a little, and as usual, Hange understood what he meant by it. She rolled onto her back, and with little more than a glance between them, and no words, Levi untangled her from her twisted sheet and settled behind her so that he could hold her and rub her stomach at the same time.

"Thanks," she sighed, leaning her head back against him when his fingers trailed up the inside of her shirt and settled against her skin.

"I swear to God if you fart on me I will—"

"That was _one time_, and it was an accident!"

"It was horrible and you trapped it under the goddamn blankets."

"_You're_ the one who dove into them without thinking."

"How was I supposed to know that you'd released a toxic cloud under there?"

Hange's response was a soft humming sound, and then she turned over in his arms to stare at him. "Did I really miss that meeting?"

"It was moved to this afternoon."

"I knew it. You just want me to suffer with you," she accused, her nose brushing against his.

"Mm."

Her next words were a whisper: "That's not very nice."

"I'm not a nice person, shitty-glasses. I never have been."

"Yes you are. Sometimes. Sort of." She kissed him then, short and soft and chaste.

He returned the gesture, mimicking it exactly; he could feel her lips curve up before he pulled away.

"Get up, get dressed, and get to work," he said.

"My back hurts, too."

"That has to wait until after the meeting."

"Ooh. Sounds promising. I'll need something to get me _through_ the meeting, though. And through all of the paperwork sitting on my desk in the lab."

She looked kind of cute lying there in his arms, brown eyes blinking up at him.

"Please?" she asked.

He just stared at her for a moment and then pushed her onto her back, lifted her shirt, and leaned down to press his mouth against her stomach.

"Gosh, Levi, I was talking about your _tea_—" she started to say, but then he blew a raspberry against her skin and she choked on whatever it was she wanted to finish her sentence with.

"I'll think about it," he said.

* * *

Half an hour later, Levi found Hange in her lab at the desk in the corner. Moblit sat at his own desk in the opposite corner looking worried, as usual, and Levi walked past him and three others who were scuttling by with mysterious containers in hand.

Hange didn't notice him until he set a cup down on the report she was reading, and even then she read around it for a moment before she stopped, tilted her head to the side, and then glanced up at him, glasses sliding down her nose.

"See?" she asked, flashing a brilliant smile at him. "You _are_ a nice person."

"No more complaining from you."

"I could kiss you," she said, and took a sip of the still-hot tea. Her smile widened. "You remembered. Now I'm really going to kiss you."

She reached out to tug on his cravat, but he resisted it and frowned at her. "Don't you have experiments to plan?"

She let go of him and set the tea down, her expression turning devious. "Speaking of experiments… Levi, what do you think? Which would be messier right now: you on top, or me?"

"What."

"You heard me."

"Hange—"

"I was just sitting here thinking about it. Maybe we should try both tonight, after the meeting. Then we'll know for sure."

"I thought you were dying."

She blinked at him, then grinned. "My stomach cramping up doesn't mean the rest of me shuts down. In fact, I kind of think it's the opposite." Her voice took on an almost wistful tone. "I wonder if my body is scolding me for failing to get pregnant by making me want you _more_ often…"

He sighed. It wasn't that he was upset about it. It was a great thought—Hange spending all day wanting him. The problem was that it was the last thing he wanted to think about during a boring meeting, and it would be difficult not to, because Hange always sat right next to him.

"Will you bring some tea to the meeting?"

"If you stop talking about non-work-related experiments in your lab, I might."

"Deal," she said, and shifted her stack of papers. "I will see you there. You bring the tea and I will bring my best innocent expression."

"It'll be better if you look like you're dying."

"Erwin won't care."

"Nile Dawk will. He'll think you're constipated and might talk less."

"Is he really going to be there? I thought you made that up."

"He'll be there."

"Ugh. Well, I guess I have _after_ the meeting to look forward to." She grinned at him.

"Someone's going to hear you saying that, and then you're going to have to explain to them what's happening after the meeting."

"I don't have to tell them anything," she said. "But I might just say I'm going to bed early."

"Nobody will believe that, coming from you."

"I wasn't done. I'd add, afterward, when they gave me a skeptical look, that you and I were going to fuck each other senseless, first."

Levi couldn't help the smirk that spread across his face. "Much more believable."

"Mm. The truth usually is."


End file.
